Running a marathon is no easy task. Sometimes the best way to help you get through it is through laughter. With that in mind, check out the top 55 marathon jokes.
#55 – 50. Marathon Joke
55. Abebe Bikila famously won the 1960 Olympic marathon while running barefoot. Do you think his opponents tasted defeet?
54. A man in Tehran finished a marathon. A fellow entered the state marathon, in Terhran. The runner suprised everyone by finishing in record time. With great curiosity, the judges and government asked how he could possibly finish in such a speedy time. The man, humbly, responds with…’Iran.’
53. I don’t win Marathons because I’m lucky. I win because I’m driven.
52. Arnold Schwarzenegger is organizing a marathon to raise money for the rebuild of Norte Dame … It’s slogan is … ‘Run with me if you want to give’
51. I don’t understand why people do all of these marathons for cancer. If I was to do one, I would expect a trophy, not a life threatening disease
50. Did you hear about the mexican guy who ran that marathon? He juan
#49 – 40. Marathon Jokes
49. I treat everyday like I’m running a marathon tomorrow…I rest, don’t run and load up on carbs.
48. I’ll admit; my business plan of impersonating and running marathons on behalf of fee paying clients who want prestige without effort, is not going well. But I’d still give you a run for your money.
47. Why did the marathon runner sprint at the start of the race? His pacemaker was malfunctioning
46. What’s the difference between a charity marathon and eugenics? The former is a race for the cure, the latter is the cure for a race.
45. Did you hear Han Solo will be running next years London Marathon? He says he reckons he’ll be able to finish in less than 26 miles
44. What do you call it when you run a second marathon? Retirement.
43. BREAKING – Paul McCartney disqualified from London Marathon. He was banned on the run.
42. What has 6 legs 10 arms and 3 heads? The Boston marathon finish line
41. Did you hear about the Catholic priest who runs marathons? He never finishes first, he’s always coming in a little behind.
40. I‘ve decided to run a marathon for charity. I didn’t want to do it at first, but apparently it’s for blind and disabled kids so I think I’ve got a good chance of winning.
#39 – 30. Marathon Joke
39. Why didn’t the programmer win a marathon? He had a runtime error
38. I don’t understand why people do all of these marathons for cancer If I was to do one, I would expect a trophy, not a life threatening disease
37. I’m never again donating a dime to any charity raising funds for a marathon. They just take the money and run.
36. Injured myself during an Ironman marathon the other day. Got up too fast after watching the third film
35. How do you know if someone is a vegan or has run a marathon? They’ll tell you.
34. “Officer, you can’t write me a ticket. I have to run a marathon tomorrow.” Cop: Stop playing the race card.
33. My friends won’t stop teasing me for giving up in a marathon after only 1 mile. I’ve become a running joke
32. Me and the lads did a Lord of The Rings marathon last weekend. Ran 26 miles dressed as Gandalf
31. I guess my nose is training for a marathon. It’s been running since morning..
30. What do runners eat before a marathon? Nothing. They fast.
#29 – 20. Marathon Jokes
29. Why are Germans so bad at marathons? Because they cant finish a race.
28. I was thinking of running a marathon. But I think it might be too difficult getting all the roads closed and providing enough water for everyone.
27. My favorite part of a marathon is…My favorite part of a marathon is watching the reaction of runners who grab my plastic cup of vodka.
26. When is the best time to run a marathon? During Lent. That’s when you fast.
25. What has 5 legs, 3 arms and 7 feet? The finish line at the marathon bombing.
24. Why did the racist man get kicked out of the marathon? Because he only wanted to run 3 out of the 5 K’s
23. Wish me luck in the London Marathon today. I managed a respectable, 3 hours, 12 minutes, last year…This year, I will try to beat that but, I usually get bored and end up turning over to watch something else…
22. Charity Marathons…They sure give you a run for your money…
21. How can you tell if somebody’s run a marathon? Wait 15 seconds, they’ll tell you.
20. Did you hear about the man who paid to enter a marathon? They gave him a run for his money.
#19 – 10. Marathon Joke
19. The national nude marathon won by a woman for the twentieth year in a row. In places 2 – 10 was a group of men with no regrets.
18. Did you hear about the Boston marathon cause well I heard it was a blast and that it blew everyone away
17. Do you want to hear a joke about the Boston Marathon? Never mind. I’ll never finish it.
16. What do you call a clown who always signs up for every marathon? A running gag.
15. I’m going to compete in a marathon dressed as Michael Jackson. I’m not sure which race yet.
14. What is a marathon runner doing when he starts a marathon in Russia that ends in Finland? Russian to Finnish.
13. I once ran three marathons in one week. They’re not that hard to organize if you have experience.
12. I don’t win Marathons because I’m lucky. I win because I’m driven.
11. Why doesn’t Kevin Spacey win first place in marathons? He isn’t an athlete and doesn’t train for marathons
10. I watch the Boston Marathon every year with my best friend. This year his girlfriend decided to join us, but she just couldn’t understand why we were laughing. It was a running joke.
#9 – 1. Marathon Jokes
9. Where does the Helsinki Marathon end? At the Finnish line.
8. What’s more covered in sweat than a marathon runner at the end of a race? Josh Duggar at a family reunion.
7. My friend Ty came in first in the Beijing marathon, but he wasn’t given the gold medal. The Chinese refuse to recognize Ty won.
6. I don’t know why they run marathons in Germany….They have a history of not finishing races.
5. Imagine if the presidential race was an actual marathon. Then we’d really have a Kenyan in office.
4. Welcome to the 23rd annual Leper Colony marathon! We now go down to our racers at the start of the first leg. Aaaaaand they’re off!
3. Why are priests bad at marathons? Because they always come in a little behind
2. I once ran three marathons in one week. They’re not that hard to organize if you have experience.
1. How do you know if someone runs marathons? Don’t worry, they’ll freakin’ tell you!
Ideas for the top 55 marathon jokes come from the following sources.[1]upjoke – marathon joke[2]Worst Jokes Ever – Marathon Joke[3]upjoke – marathon joke
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